The Sex Act Systematized
The foregoing chapters contain a wide variety of information concerned
with the sexual association of man and woman. From these sections it has been
thought expedient to extract the facts pertinent exclusively to conducting the
sexual relationship, emphasize them, set them down in the form of a procedure,
and add some comments which have been reserved for such a summary.
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A man who has given study to the previous material should be able now to
approximate the emotional level of any woman during the first relationship. The
level of a wife with whom he has been living over a long period should present
practically no problem at all. Nor should any woman who has read the sections be
doubtful of her position in the emotional scale of sex; she and her husband
should know precisely how she should be treated.
Of course, the single woman who has preserved her chastity is unaware of her
sexual potentialities. If she assumes them, she may be entirely wrong. The
romantic girl, the type subject to heavy crushes, is as often on a lower level
as on a higher; her pre-marital emotion is not necessarily an index to her
Regarding intercourse specifically, proper procedure suggests that a man observe
certain cardinal rules. The first of these is to approach every woman as if she
were on a low level and slow to arouse. This will entail embracing all the
elements of foreplay as described in the appropriate chapter.
The second rule demands that a man devote no less than fifteen minutes or longer
to foreplay unless otherwise directed by the female.
With respect to intercourse itself, the most comfortable or practical position
is assumed. If it is intended that the female have unrestrained freedom, for
example, then the man-below position is the most suitable. This position has
also the quality at times of increasing the emotion of any woman.
Careful clitoral stimulation should precede the first female orgasm and the
rise-and-fall technique should be applied for at least a series of six. The
third rule, then, requires the observance of digital stimulation of the clitoris
both prior to and during the orgasm unless the female is of the highly
passionate type; clitoral contact need then be observed only during foreplay.
Since one cannot predetermine the number of orgasms of which a woman is capable,
the male should delay his climax until his partner cannot experience another or
unless she is approaching the end of her cycle; following this he must be
prepared to continue digital stimulation until his partner no longer responds.
This may be regarded as the fourth rule and pertains to the individual-orgasm
Irrespective of type, if the male cannot delay his orgasm with the penis in
motion or cannot continue the motion following his climax, he engages in digital
clitoral stimulation or digital vaginal stimulation until his partner is
satisfied. This may be done with the penis inserted but inactive, and
constitutes the fifth rule.
No man can predict with certainty the appropriate moment to engage in the
simultaneous orgasm. Consequently the sixth rule suggests that a man apply
himself to extending the female climax and ignore the features of the
simultaneous orgasm unless the female requests it.
Male abatement is rapid and thorough, following climax; the female abatement is
not. The seventh and last rule insists that the husband display some measure of
No emotionally aroused woman ever kisses with her eyes open or keeps them open
to any extent during intimacy. A woman with open eyes is still cold. However, an
adequate male lover never closes his eyes when actively engaged. He is alert to
determine the responses of his partner and closed eyes encourage dreaminess.
This prerogative belongs exclusively to a woman.
It is well to emphasize that the female body is not an instrument existing
solely to satisfy the passion of the male, although many careless husbands
appear to think otherwise. Actually, the male body should exist for a woman's
pleasure, and a man with the proper attitude will derive added enjoyment from
the emotion of his wife. There is such a thing as "bedroom manners," and it may
be well to devote a few paragraphs to them.
An experienced lover never makes a conspicuous approach to a sex relationship.
He regards it as a perfectly natural urge and restrains himself from any
behavior which overemphasizes his mood. A refined woman expects a man to control
his passion, and she repudiates any crude overtures to sex indulgence. Even in
the privacy of her home or bedroom, a woman feels entitled to demand sexual
dignity on the part of her husband.
Actually, an aroused woman is no less responsive to the sex urge than man, and
in many cases is more so. This, however, has not been given the same prominence
as that devoted to depicting man as crude and animalistic in his passion. So,
like Caesar's wife, he must hold himself well above suspicion, or run the risk
of developing in his mate an aversion founded upon his lack of sexual polish.
Although a man may feel the greatest mental tenderness and affection toward his
wife, he feels at the same time a normal body hunger, entirely divorced from the
other. Nevertheless, he avoids gloating over her nude body as she is disrobing
or giving the impression that her nudity alone has the capability of stimulating
desire. Such behavior can add to the self-consciousness, reserve, and
overdeveloped modesty which many woman never lose, although married to a man for
a lifetime. Such women are usually the lowly or moderately passionate, and
present a sufficient problem to their husbands.
Finally, no self-respecting or intelligent male will badger his wife or urge
intimacy upon her if she, for any reason whatever, is disinclined. It is
difficult to see how a forced relationship can be a pleasurable experience for a
man when he knows that his mood is not reciprocated. The enjoyment of his wife's
passion should occupy the foremost position in his mind; and a vital element to
a satisfactory relationship is lacking when a woman merely performs in a
mechanical fashion. A man who will insist upon his rights as a husband
regardless of his wife's rights as a human being is thoroughly deserving of the
general reputation the male sex unfortunately bears, and is one of those
responsible for it.
The old platitude, "Familiarity breeds contempt," is so true and so well-phrased
that, if for nothing else, it should be venerated for its antiquity. There is no
point in saying that a man should always respect his wife, because human nature
has decided otherwise, and perhaps everyone occasionally forgets himself. With
regard to sexual intimacy, however, there can be no excuse. It is far too
personal an involvement ever to allow one's best behavior to be forgotten even
for a moment.