Controlling The Male Orgasm
While the stress in these chapters has been laid largely upon women's
sexual problems, because they are definitely the greater, this section will be
devoted to the male's only actual problem, that of self-control. It should at
the same time make interesting reading for a woman; serve to make her understand
why she is frequently unsatisfied in sex relationships, and perhaps enable her
to take a more tolerant attitude where she is absolutely certain her husband is
doing his best. What this represents has been described in another chapter, and
a woman should never be satisfied with less.
It has been stated that woman's sexual problems are greater than man's from both
points of view because each is concerned with them. She is concerned with seeing
that she is satisfied, and he with seeing that he satisfies her. His
satisfaction presents no difficulty. It may be possible for him to experience
more enjoyment when his wife releases her inhibitions, but he will in any event
be satisfied so long as she allows intimacy.
This is, however, not true for a normal woman. Too many conditions, elsewhere
discussed, may interfere with her ultimate satisfaction, but nothing can
interfere with the eventual satisfaction of the normal man. So long as he
attains orgasm he is satisfied, and every normal man can attain it regardless of
the conditions surrounding the intimacy.
He will experience orgasm whether or not he wears a condom, whether or not he
practices coitus interrupts— withdrawal before orgasm and a most unsatisfactory
method for more reasons than one—whether or not his wife uses an inserted
contraceptive, whether or not the female hand is the medium, whether or not
external genital contact induces climax, whether or not it be premature. In
short, regardless of the conditions, any normal man will experience orgasm and
consequent satisfaction. This is not necessarily true of a woman.
It may be well to define satisfaction in practical terms. Satisfaction is
attained when orgasm has occurred and the individual man or woman has no
immediate further desire for sexual intimacy. The male orgasm almost instantly
produces that condition in any normal man. Not only does it almost immediately
bring about complete satisfaction, but further dalliance in most cases becomes
disagreeable. Unhappily, nature has constructed man in this fashion; he has
absolutely no control over the feeling.
Thus, man has been created with three unfortunate weaknesses. He is quick to be
aroused, he is speedily satisfied, and he loses the mood and inclination for
further sex play almost immediately thereafter. It seems that nature has
deliberately conspired against the sexual pleasure of woman; if both sexes had
only one of the three differences in common, satisfactory intercourse would
present less of a problem.
If man were as slow to arouse as are most women, relatively speaking, both would
in all probability be ready for orgasm at approximately the same time, and a
closer mutual satisfaction would result. But this is not the case, because man
is normally ready for the climax long before his partner.
On the other hand, if man, quickly aroused as he is, required a prolonged
excitation before reaching the climax, the female, although slow to become
aroused, could overtake him eventually and be ready for orgasm at a time more in
keeping with his. But, again, this is not the situation. Once the male is
aroused, orgasm is speedily attained and just as speedily spent. The female
cannot overtake him.
Alternatively, if following orgasm the male required a certain cooling period
and his ardor abated slowly, he would still be in the mood to continue intimacy
with his tardy partner despite the fact that he had already achieved his climax.
Not only does the mood rapidly disappear; worse still, it is replaced by a
distaste for prolong-gation, a distaste over which he has absolutely no control.
Nature does not even allow him a neutral reaction, and he cannot with vigor and
enthusiasm draw out the act too long once he has experienced orgasm. He wishes
to be left alone.
Since nature has deliberately created complications, a way must be found to
circumvent her, if possible. The only answer is to be found in man's ability to
exercise some measure of type of self-control. He must do so if he is to insure
his partner's satisfaction. The words "measure" and "type" have been used
because self-control can be exercised by the degree of restraint, partial or
complete, employed in controlling orgasm, or it can be exerted after the orgasm
has occurred by forcing oneself to continue sex play even though further
intimacy has become distasteful. Let us here examine the various types of
It is the habit of too many men to neglect the important and vital matter of
foreplay almost entirely, engage in intimacy at once, and precipitate their own
orgasm as rapidly as possible, either assuming or hoping that their partners
will successfully pace them, or not caring whether they do so. These man make no
attempt to exert self-control. There are an equal number who engage in foreplay
so long as it suits them, whereupon they make connection and effect orgasm at
their convenience. This group also ignores self-control.
There is another and smaller group which, although desiring orgasm, will extend
the preliminaries to the last notch of their endurance, then make connection,
whereupon orgasm occurs almost at once, whether or not their partners have
completely sustained their climaxes. These men have partial self-control. There
is still another and by far the smallest group who restrain their climaxes until
the woman experiences hers in advance or simultaneously. This represents
complete self-control. Also falling under this last classification are those men
who, despite having attained orgasm prior to their partners, will nevertheless
continue intimacy either by hand or penis, regardless of their discomfort, until
the woman is completely satisfied.
Falling within these five groups are others whose behavior may vary, such as the
man who may carry his restraint past the preliminaries and partially through the
intercourse, but who is not quite able to maintain it to a point of female
orgasm. Such a man possesses only partial self-control. Then there is the
husband who, although almost completely neglecting foreplay, nevertheless does
have the staying power to maintain an intimacy until his wife is satisfied.
However, any variation will fall quite clearly into one of the five divisions,
since these groups include the various degrees of restraint.
There are, however, two methods of insuring complete satisfaction for a woman
and which are wholly free from any undesirable elements. They may be described
as involving automatic control rather than self-control. These will result in
the truest form of perfect intercourse, and should be among the first
experiments made by the man who experiences so-called premature orgasm if he
wishes to improve his technique. This will be further explained and enlarged
It may be well to discuss at this point the relationship of so-called premature
ejaculation to masturbation. First: every man is subject at times to premature
ejaculation and often to the general tendency. Nature intended he should be.
Second: normal premature ejaculation has no connection with masturbation. By
this it is not meant that excessive masturbation may not have a bearing on an
abnormal ejaculatory condition. The writer means only that the tendency to
so-called premature ejaculation possessed by the normal average male has no
relationship whatever to the normal masturbation he practiced as a boy.
To begin with, since almost every man has practiced the habit in his youth, and
even subsequently, in more or less the same degree, the result should be that no
one is capable of exerting self-control. However, many can; in fact, most men
can if they make a serious attempt. Furthermore, the only difference between
masturbation and sexual intercourse is the fact that sex magnetism and an
imponderable psychic element are lacking. Even their presence in intercourse,
however, does not relieve the purely physical stress on the various organs
involved in the sex act. They only add to the enjoyment. It is perfectly
possible to produce orgasm in masturbation with less physical effort than in
intercourse, by merely massaging the underside of the head of the penis.
Consequently, in the case of the average man, the relationship of youthful
masturbation to early orgasm in intercourse is difficult to evaluate.
On the other hand, it is interesting to observe how the relationship of
masturbation to orgasm is argued in reverse with respect to woman. There exists
a considerable body of statistics purporting to indicate that the majority of
women have also indulged in adolescent and adult masturbation. It is contended
in the case of the female that this practice has slowed down, not speeded up,
her orgastic impulses.
||CROSS-SECTION OF MALE SENITAUA
||3. Seminal Vesicle
||4. Prostate Gland
||9. Glans Penis
The theory is advanced that women who experience sex sensation not at the
vagina but only at the clitoris can lay this defect to having engaged in
clitoral masturbation. This form of indulgence, it is argued, has focused all
sensation upon the clitoris with the result that women who have so engaged can
experience little or no feeling to a point of impotence. Therefore, we are faced
with the question, does masturbation hasten the orgastic process or retard it?
It is more reasonable to assume that it does nothing, and to regard these male
and female tendencies as completely normal conditions inasmuch as they are
characteristic of the large majority.
There are certain occasions when every normal man capable of performing the sex
act will undergo a so-called premature ejaculation or else be forced to modify
his usual technique. This condition will occur at intervals when the male is
more than usually aroused, perhaps when he has abstained from intercourse for a
considerable period. This, of course, presumes that the partners are still
physically attracted to each other. A man who for the first time is given the
opportunity to be intimate with a woman who has been on his mind in a sexual way
will also find it difficult to control himself. A widower who has been used to a
generally passive wife and who suddenly finds himself married to a highly
passionate woman, will at the outset also be carried far ahead of his usual
pace. Too much handling by the female or too much activity in foreplay may also
bring about premature ejaculation during the ensuing intercourse. What occurs is
this: although the husband may apply himself to foreplay with his usual
consideration, his imagination and expectation are so expanded during these
preliminaries that, immediately upon inserting the male organ, the interior
rhythm or contact alone will bring him to a climax almost at once.
Consequently, unless he wishes to complete the orgasm, he must either withdraw
or temporarily cease activity until he quiets. More frequently than not, despite
this forced inactivity, the ejaculation will proceed spontaneously. This is
purely a matter of becoming extraordinarily aroused, perhaps mentally more than
physically, and women are just as subject to such occurrences as men. Childhood
masturbation does not enter into it.
There are other frequent occasions when a man becomes more than usually aroused
for no explainable reason. At such times also, the male must depart from his
usual procedure if he is to avoid the so-called premature orgasm. Obviously,
self-control is not invariably attainable, and all men will be premature on
The fact is that the expression "premature orgasm" in its usual application is a
misnomer. It is used critically to describe any male orgasm occurring before the
female orgasm, and gives an impression of abnormality. Even though some
authorities do make a distinction between an orgasm occurring either during
foreplay or immediately upon insertion, and one occurring later but prior to the
female orgasm, sometimes the distinction is not clarified. The impression
remains that most men are victims of abnormal premature orgasm.
This is not at all true. The man who is the victim of actual premature orgasm is
an exception and requires some form of treatment. True premature orgasm involves
exclusively the constant habit of the male to ejaculate during foreplay or
immediately upon insertion of his organ into the vagina. This and this alone is
Under ordinary circumstances and in the process of normal intercourse, the male
orgasm will always precede the female orgasm unless controlled. Since this is
natural, it is hardly premature, and those who control it are actually behaving
more unnaturally than those who do not. This is one situation in which nature
must be defeated if man is to succeed in satisfying his partner.
Most men, once they have inserted the penis, will experience an orgasm,
generally within two minutes, if they create a ceaseless, rhythmic motion. Their
partners, unless previously conditioned by foreplay, will not usually react so
quickly. There is nothing premature about this orgasm. It is early only with
respect to the time of the female, and occurs within the time intended by
There are times, also, when overexcitement in foreplay causes orgasm before
insertion. This is not premature. A man can withstand just so much excitement,
no matter how it is induced, before he gives way to orgasm. On the other hand,
if a man continually achieves orgasm during only moderate foreplay, such orgasms
are strictly premature, since they occur too frequently outside the boundaries
of the average man's experience.
The question, then, is how to go about developing self-control. It should be
emphasized that every normal man who engages in intercourse regularly can,
except on occasions of unusual excitement, postpone the moment of orgasm until
the proper time, the proper time being whenever he cares to have it, provided he
can insure the fact that he will not leave his partner unsatisfied. This
question of time is complicated by his partner's variable nature. She may be
slowly aroused and slowly satisfied. She may be slow to arouse but quick to be
satisfied. She may be quickly aroused and slowly satisfied. Finally, she may be
quickly aroused and quickly satisfied. While it depends entirely upon the
individual nature of the woman, usually no such individuality exists with
respect to man.
When we realize that many men requiring only two or three minutes for sexual
satisfaction are wed to women who may require thirty minutes, the nature of the
problem becomes clear. We must, therefore, consider the elements which
contribute to producing orgasm in the male and retard them until the time of
proper release. There are only four principal ones: thought, sight, contact, and
motion. Hearing and smell may also play a part, but it is too slight to be
Though the lover does not realize it, much of his sexual stimulation springs
from the brain. Desire is only translated thought. All men know that an erection
can be created simply by imagining an intimate situation with a woman. In actual
intercourse, the brain is also at work, enabling man to experience the pleasure
which comes from handling a woman's body or from realizing the extent of her
emotion. Consequently, the brain must be harnessed, because it is the greatest
stimulant when concentrated on man's own enjoyment, which primarily is where it
does not belong.
In this connection, a word may be said regarding a form of sexual relationship
known as the Karezza, a form of indulgence which may be described as immobile
intercourse. Once coupled, the partners relax and revel in a pure state of
mental ecstasy, maintaining no rhythm and attaining no orgasm. Those who can
condition themselves to this type of relationship can be said to have achieved
the unique ultimate in sexual sensation. All the most desirable elements are
present; a lazy and lengthy state of delight; complete satisfaction for both
partners; and a minimum of exertion. However, as much as the author believes in
the power of mental enjoyment and advocates its development to the fullest
degree, he doubts that any sensation was intended by nature to exceed that of
the orgasm. It is unlikely that nature, whose primary object is the perpetuation
of the race, would allow the existence of a sensation superior to the climax and
one which would defeat her purposes.
Sight, naturally, will stimulate desire if the intimacy is conducted in the
light. But in the dark, where most relationships take place, it loses
Contact definitely increases passion. The female hand stroking or squeezing the
penis can bring about orgasm. The male hand exploring the female body, as well
as the mutual contact of genitals, will increase stimulation. Kissing
contributes to the excitement, particularly if the woman has an eager mouth and
an active tongue.
Lastly, the motion of rhythmic movement, once the penis has been inserted, will
speedily bring about orgasm.
These, then, are the elements which contribute toward producing orgasm in the
male. He must establish control over all of them.
What is said next may sound strange, but nevertheless, must be accepted if
benefit is to result. It is not possible for a man to devote himself dutifully
to satisfying his wife without sacrificing a measure of sexual convenience.
However, to the same extent that he sacrifices his, he also increases hers.
But—and all men are urged to regard this point seriously, because it represents
the soul of perfect sexual compatibility—the mental satisfaction which results
from realizing that one's partner is being gratified in a manner no other man
can surpass, will transform itself in time to a feeling of pleasure which will
far exceed the small measure of sexual convenience of which the male has
A man will grow to enjoy the gratification he is producing in his partner far
more than any other emotion experienced in a relationship, outside of the
orgasm, and it will leave him thoroughly satisfied and content. In doing this,
he can bind his wife to him tighter than all the marriage vows can, because she
will realize that there exists no other man with a greater capacity for giving
her sexual comfort, and she will feel no urge to look elsewhere. In other words,
in denying himself a certain amount of physical convenience, a man more than
makes up for it in the mental enjoyment he acquires and which transforms itself
into pure sexual pleasure.
Having said that man must sacrifice some of his sexual convenience, let us
consider it. A woman can be thoroughly gratified only when she abandons herself
completely to the pleasures of a relationship and is allowed to do so. Should a
man indulge the identical tendency, his abandonment is short-lived and the
relationship is speedily terminated. Therefore, he dare not do so. Since nature
has created him with this desire, any restraint he imposes upon himself
naturally reduces his pleasure. How is he to contain himself without destroying
Let us start with the control of thought. If a man concentrates thoroughly upon
his procedure for successfully arousing his wife and estimates the extent of her
passion from time to time, he will discover that he cannot do this and
simultaneously keep his mind exclusively upon the pleasure he alone is
extracting from intimacy. He will feel only an indirect enjoyment from his own
excitement, since no one can fully concentrate upon two things at the same time.
He will discover also that he will enjoy his wife's reactions and that they will
become more important to his pleasure than his own physical excitement, which
can easily be heightened at will. Since this constant watching for his wife's
reaction is a mental process, the physical is retarded, and he will observe that
she constantly rises to a higher pitch while he can maintain a fairly consistent
It is not possible, however, for a man to avoid momentarily abandoning himself
to the voluptuous enjoyment which follows when he first clasps his nude partner
and their bodies seek each other in intimate embrace. He will find,
nevertheless, that a minute of this unrestrained pleasure produces quite a
release of tension and expectation, and that he can then turn his attention to
the important matter of arousing his partner. He will observe, too, that his own
excitement will mount more gradually with his partner's, following hers, instead
Regarding sight, little control is required. If the intimacy takes place in the
dark, it is an unimportant element. Even in the light, its effect is no more
than an initial and passing source of excitement. The lover may run his eyes for
a few moments over the desirable features of his partner, but eye appetite is
quickly satisfied, and the pleasure that ensues from the mingling of the bodies
at once crowds eye appeal to the background.
Contact is the second factor most important in preventing the delay of orgasm.
Thought is subtle and nebulous, but contact is aggressive and immediate. The
real danger lies in the fact that too much motion on the part of the male at the
outset of foreplay will arouse him to a condition of intense excitement at a
time when that of his partner is just beginning to develop. Since foreplay
requires initially a relaxed, searching, and watchful attitude by the male, an
excess of bodily exertion at the outset must be minimized. Moreover, although it
gives him pleasure to have his partner fondle his genitals and although it may
also be pleasurable to the partner, he must limit it and put a complete stop to
it as soon as he begins to feel involuntary spasms in the penis and no later
than the first dull suggestion of tingling, which is the forerunner of speedy
orgasm. However, if he devotes his exclusive attention toward arousing his
partner, it is possible for the female to fondle the male organ extensively
without creating the risk of early climax.
Oddly, the average woman is awkward in handling the male genitals, and
frequently lacks the capacity to produce orgasm in that manner, except after
much effort which tires her, bores her, and irritates the male. She seems to
lack an instinctive conception of the proper technique, and remains a slow pupil
even when instructed. Any man, regardless of his immaturity, easily excels her
in the delicate matter of arousing excitement. Her mouth is her chief asset. The
wife who would be effective in deliberately arousing her husband must learn to
use her hands with a certain amount of understanding. This is important, since a
woman who is in a sexual mood may find it necessary on occasion to stimulate a
husband who, while not averse to relationship, may at the time be indifferent to
one. The wife is entitled to make her desires known, and she should do so.
Seat of Sensitivity
In this connection then, a woman should bear in mind that,
however she begins to stimulate the male organ, the same procedure should be
unceasingly maintained until it produces the desired result. It should be
gentle, because the nerves in the head of the penis are as sensitive as those of
the clitoris. Too much pressure upon the clitoris will deaden its sensitivity;
it has the same effect on the penis. To use her hand in a satisfactory manner, a
woman should be certain that the rhythmic motion includes brushing the underside
of the glans with her hand; or she can concentrate upon this section of the head
entirely with her ringer, rubbing the underside in much the same manner as the
male massages the clitoris. The head of the penis, particularly the under
portion, is actually the center of male sensation as indicated on the foregoing
diagram. The remainder is not too responsive and reacts largely through
sympathy. Once sensation becomes strong, she may then grasp the entire organ and
apply a rhythmic movement.
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Like most men, women also expect immediate reaction from whatever technique they
employ. Should the male fail to respond with rapidity, they introduce another
approach, returning to the original after a period of unsuccessful
experimentation. Each change of procedure causes the emotion of the partner to
drop, until finally the matter becomes a wearisome chore for which women lack
future enthusiasm. But it is as much their duty to be capable in this respect as
it is their husbands'.
A woman with an active mouth can raise havoc with a man's emotions if he allows
himself to concentrate on its stimulating quality. But if he makes it his
purpose to match her oral ardor, which is an unconscious manifestation of her
mounting passion, he will be dwelling on his own performance rather than hers.
In this way he will not only increase her emotion but will offset the ability
she may have to stimulate him.
His hands are his most important asset. They do the greatest part of the
preliminary work and usually prolong the female orgasm. A man with a delicate,
caressing touch is a far more adequate lover than one with only a well-developed
penis. Although his investigation of the female body is capable of inducing
erection in the male it cannot produce orgasm in him unless he is a victim of
premature ejaculation in its correct sense. However, it is normal for the
inexperienced adolescent or an adult who has infrequent sexual society, or who
has never engaged in intercourse, to ejaculate upon merely touching the private
zone of a woman, provided some prestimulating activity has already taken place.
He has not yet become accustomed to the regular opportunity of fondling the
female body, opportunity that accompanies a state of matrimony. To him, touching
a female breast or surface genitals, even though covered with clothing,
represents one of the ultimates in his sexual experience. It is not surprising
that his mind should carry him to orgasm as it does any normal male who has had
a voluptuous dream.
These, then, are the types of control involved in contact. We now arrive at
intercourse, the only infallible and positive method that will produce a speedy
orgasm in every normal male. While this is also a matter of contact, it has been
given its own place, because it is by its nature not dependent on any other
means of excitation included in sexual relationship and will insure climax with
greater rapidity and facility than anything else.
Copulation taxes all men, even those with self-control, to the utmost, because a
second of movement too much on the part of either male or female will cause the
former to attain orgasm. Furthermore, the tendency is such that, once having
started the motion, the male finds the sensation so overpowering that he feels
compelled to continue it until climax is achieved.
Supposing, however, that at the moment of insertion, it will take the female
three minutes to reach orgasm and that her orgasm or orgasms will endure for
another four. Is it possible for the male to stretch his inadequate two minutes
into the seven required by his partner? While the answer is a positive one, it
cannot be done with full physical pleasure to the male. It cannot be done by
relying strictly upon the movement of the penis to bring about satisfaction of
his partner during the seven minutes required.
It stands to reason that, if a rhythmic motion of steady or increasing rapidity
will produce orgasm in the male in the neighborhood of two minutes, the only way
to extend it beyond that time is to reduce the speed. Consequently, the male
must cut his rhythm down and frequently stop completely, because the mental
excitement of knowing he is closely connected with his partner also adds impetus
to the approaching orgasm. Since the sensation is so delightful, he neither
wishes to reduce his rhythm nor stop, yet he is forced to do one or the other or
both. This opposition to nature's impulse is both difficult and undesirable.
Since his partner's orgasm is completely dependent upon a constant and
uninterrupted flow of movement, every interruption also reduces the height of
her ecstasy. As a result, she cannot attain orgasm or have her orgasm prolonged
unless one partner continuously maintains the rhythm; if this is done, he will
experience orgasm before her and perhaps thereafter be unable to extend the
intimacy to the point necessary for her satisfaction. The problem is greater
where the male requires two minutes and the female perhaps fifteen minutes.
There are only three solutions to this difficulty: the male must stimulate his
partner digitally to a point approximating orgasm before he inserts himself, and
thereafter depend upon the two minutes and his endurance following his own
orgasm to bring his partner complete satisfaction; or, while reducing his
rhythm, he must continue to stimulate her digitally so that no interruption
occurs, at the same time forcing his mind to dwell on something quite outside
the relationship; or he must force himself, following his orgasm, to continue
the rhythm either digitally or by the penis. This last can be very difficult for
It will be recalled that this chapter has previously referred to a condition
described as "automatic control." When this exists, or has been created—though
it is not attainable on occasions when the male is highly excited— the most
satisfactory kind of relationship faces the female, with little inconvenience to
the male. Once this condition has been achieved, future repetitions of it with
the same woman can follow with desirable frequency, and the husband realizes
that he has become as proficient in sexual intercourse as is possible. The man
who finds it difficult to delay orgasm should start immediately to experiment
As all married men know, there are occasions when sexual intimacy has no
particular appeal to them. They are not necessarily tired, nervous, or mentally
or physically disturbed. They simply have no sexual desire for their wives at
The fact that man experiences no physical desire at a certain period does not
mean that he is incapable of being aroused. A male can be excited at any time
whether he be tired or rested, nervous or calm. Kisses or bodily contact may not
be effective, but the penis will unfailingly be erected if the female fondles
it. Once the penis is rigid, desire will eventually result.
This being the case, there is absolutely no reason why he should deny his wife
his sexual society if she desires it. The fact that he lacks the mood does not
mean that intimacy will prove unhealthful or ultimately distasteful. If he now
encourages it, he will discover that his staying power is immeasurably
increased, and with good reason. Since his attitude is one of indifference, the
brain fails to build up expectation and sexual excitement. The burden is placed
almost entirely upon his physical reaction, and he approximates the condition of
a woman slow to arousal. His hands explore the female body, but the movement is
largely mechanical and his mind extracts little pleasure from it. Even kissing
lacks flavor, and erection develops slowly.
This mood, however, does not transmit itself to the female. If he goes about his
duties properly, her excitement increases. Finally, when she is ready for the
insertion of the male organ, he will discover that his usual period is
considerably extended and that he can maintain the rhythmic motion for a longer
interval before being forced to reduce his pace. He can with greater ease delay
his orgasm to a time more in keeping with his partner's need for satisfaction,
and the woman's enjoyment can be heightened considerably. The degree of control
he must practice on this occasion is very slight compared with that which he
must generally exert when he is highly stimulated; the brain has not been too
much involved. The result is that he behaves automatically, and control takes
care of itself.
The same condition will manifest itself if he assumes the underneath position,
since the physical factor contributing the most to his orgasm is the amount of
genital movement the male exerts, whether he be inserted or not. Any man knows
it is possible to bring about orgasm simply be moving his organ against the
vulva, the stomach, or between the female breasts, if he maintains the friction
long enough. Frequently, he even finds it necessary to move his organ when it is
held in the female hand, so inexpert may she be in this matter.
In this position, the male has only to lie relaxed, studying and enjoying the
development or extent of his partner's passion; or if this becomes too
stimulating, centering his attention on other things, perhaps running over in
his mind the events of the day. When the woman has completely satisfied herself,
he can then, without shifting his position, and with deep penetrating, lifting
thrusts, almost swooningly pleasurable to a highly passionate woman, bring about
his own orgasm. Unfortunately, some men do not care for this position. This
however, should be of little importance to an adequate lover, since his emotions
are the less important of the two.
Liquor has an inconsistent influence on sexual behavior in that sometimes it
will heighten passion, particularly in women, and at other times lower it,
depending upon the quantity absorbed and the mood of the individual. However, a
man who has consumed a favorable quantity under agreeable circumstances will
discover that he can perform an adequate sex act. Alcohol seems to have a
dulling effect upon the penis, at times limiting the rigidity of erection and
giving it a certain pliability. When the male organ is in a state of limp
erection, orgasm is not so readily attained as when erection is intense. Many
women prefer this condition when it can be achieved.
However, it must be noted that, under some circumstances, overindulgence in
alcohol may lead to temporary impotence. More than one bridegroom has
discovered, to his embarrassment on his wedding night, that he was unable to
perform his marital function. Under any circumstances, it is a dangerous
practice to utilize the unpredictable effects of alcohol for the purpose of
developing sexual staying power.
The average man finds it difficult to delay his climax primarily because of the
fact that he engages in intercourse only when he is very much in the mood. His
desire may have started even while he was at work or early in the evening, and
he goes through hours of expectation with his imagination highly stimulated.
Consequently, he is well on the road to orgasm after only a few minutes of
Another source of trouble is that many couples do not engage in intercourse with
sufficient frequency. The best and most successful relationship is by no means
always that which the male anticipates. Frequently it results in a complete
failure, caused by the fact that he is too stimulated to exercise the necessary
control. The act is completed too quickly for both partners. People do not eat
only when they are starving, nor do they sleep only when exhausted. Why, then,
should a man make love to his wife only when he is in an advanced state of
sexual excitement? The unpremeditated, relaxed session is often more enjoyable
than the tense, pent-up, explosive interval, and frequent love-making conditions
The problem of developing self-control should be an easy one for those men who
practice coitus interrupts, the habit of withdrawing the male organ just prior
to orgasm as a birth-control method. In regarding it as a menace to the mental
and physical well-being of both men and women, the medical profession assumes
that many a man withdraws before his partner is satisfied and consequently
leaves her in a trouble state, mentally and physically. It is true that such a
constant process may undermine her health.
On the other hand, if a man is forced to resort to it, but only after the female
is first thoroughly gratified, the practice cannot be injurious to a woman. When
consistently engaged in, it is decidedly harmful to the male. Occasional
indulgence will not, however, have deleterious results.
However, from the standpoint of pure enjoyment, coitus interrupts is most
unsatisfactory. A man experiences a serious mental and physical strain in
determining the precise moment to withdraw. This inevitably interferes with his
pleasure, and he suffers a feeling of depression and incompleteness when orgasm
occurs following withdrawal. But, since this technique necessitates the most
rigorous self-control, any man who practices it can easily bring into play the
less stringent requirements necessary to achieve delayed orgasm.
A brief word should be devoted to another condition which, while not too common,
can be most disturbing to an individual afflicted by it. It is a sexual
impotence which can occur at indeterminate periods when the male has been denied
constant sexual society over a long interval or even at a time when his sex life
is following a perfectly normal routine.
This condition is just the reverse of an undelayable orgasm and presents itself
in the inability of the male to develop erection. He may have a definite desire
for intercourse, but despite his emotion the penis cannot attain rigidity. He
may find himself perfectly competent with one woman and helplessly inadequate
with another. His sexual nature is not involved, for a male of moderate passion
can become just as much a victim of the disorder as one of violent emotion. It
occurs frequently when a man finds himself sexually engaged with a woman for the
first time, but it can occur with his wife if his excitement is excessive. On
such occasions, no amount of genital play can bring the penis to a rigid state.
Many men beset by this unpredictable inconvenience are terrified by the thought
that their virility is beginning to dwindle; that they are victims of premature
impotence. Such a belief has no foundation. Some youths of twenty are as much
afflicted as is a man of fifty, and the sexual potential of the latter is far
from exhausted at that age.
This constant fear of vanishing sexual energy gradually assumes a paramount
importance in the victim's mind, and he expects every sexual session to
terminate in frustration. This results in continuous mental uneasiness which,
unfortunately, aggravates the affliction.
Where this condition is not the result of organic changes, which should be
determined by medical consultation, it is purely psychological, and a man is
foolish to torture himself with the specter of impotence. Constant sexual
association of a compatible nature will frequently eliminate this disturbance.
But when it persists, it requires hypno-therapy or psychiatric treatment, not
because the individual is a mental case, but because the root of the trouble is
located in some mental distortion. The psychiatrist will track it down, adjust
it to the shape of truth, and give it its proper value. He will eventually
succeed in convincing his patient that he is perfectly normal physically and
establish self-confidence. Were it possible for the sexually harassed male to
realize this at the outset, the condition would in all probability take care of
But with respect to the most prominent problem, the undelayed orgasm, it is
strongly recommended that a man so annoyed start experimenting immediately with
the woman-above position. Once he has achieved the ability to postpone climax,
he will develop a self-confidence which works psychologically upon his ability
to operate from any position. This matter of control, whether it be "self" or
"automatic" should be strictly pursued by every man who loves his wife and
strives to keep her physically, mentally, and healthfully happy.