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Introduction - Not so long ago, the British Bar Association admitted that the principal factor responsible for English divorces is sexual incompatibility. The Association is to be praised for having undertaken an analysis of the unfortunate and important divorce problem and for having made public its findings. There is no doubt in the author's mind that similar studies made in other countries would result in like conclusions; sex is governed and controlled by a natural and universal law which is common to all individuals, and all persons are subject to its influence in greater or lesser degree.
1. Initial Intercourse - A great deal has been written on the subject of this chapter, most of which has had little purpose other than to attract the lascivious. Where a writer is really sincere in his effort to deal with the problem, the treatment is often sketchy in that too great a neglect of necessary detail exists and that too much emphasis is laid on the theme, "Be tender, be understanding."
2. Sexual Behavior - Most women have the mistaken idea that the sexual nature of all normal females is relatively the same as their own. They have heard or have read of the highly passionate type and have assumed, by relying on gossip or the treatment of sex in romantic novels, that the phrase "highly passionate" describes a woman who is something of a rarity and above normal in her emotions. This, of course, is not true. If a woman is correctly described as "over passionate," we may consider her abnormal; the word "over" indicates that she is beyond the border line.
3. Erogenous Zones - While the discussion up to this point has been general, it now becomes specific; what are the degrees of female passion, how does that passion express itself, how is it best aroused? All normal women will find themselves described in composite somewhere in this chapter.
4. Foreplay - The fact that most women are sensitive in the genital region largely at the clitoris does not mean at all that they will react even approximately in the same manner to orgasm or to the emotions leading up to it. They have the same organs, it is true, but not necessarily the same nerve structure or similar temperament apart from their sexual natures.
5. Nature Of Intercourse - In a previous chapter it was stated that there exists a definite guide for determining the readiness of a woman for intercourse. It is an unfailing signal. Unless it clearly manifests itself, a woman has not been sufficiently aroused and has not reached a high peak of her excitement prior to the sex act. No intelligent or considerate lover should force intercourse until this signal appears.
6. Type Of Orgasm - Up to this point we have discussed the general conduct of intercourse. Since, as has been remarked previously, there are two types of orgastic reaction, each peculiar to the female groups under discussion, and since each group requires a different method of handling (although all groups have one feature, clitorial contact, somewhat in common), the types of orgasm will be more clearly understood if they are illustrated diagrammatically as well as explained.
7. Digital Contact - It may be wondered, since the penis is reputed to be the primarily effective sexual organ of the male, why the author stresses the importance of finger contact with the clitoris in producing the female orgasm. The sad fact is that!, from a practical standpoint, the penis is only one of the instruments creating sensation in the female, and its greatest value lies as a mental stimulant and organ of reproduction, not as a necessary medium of her sexual pleasure.
8. Coitus - At this point, a word of warning must be given regarding foreplay. While this preliminary is usually under-extended, it can also be overdone, particularly where the woman is not disposed to interfere with what she regards as pleasurable to the male. There is a limit, of course, to a woman's excitement, and it is characteristic of foreplay that, after a reasonable period of indulgence, the female level of high emotion is reached.
9. Sexual Reactions - Much has been written about the sexual emotions and habits of the female, but very little, by comparison, about the male. This is not surprising since, from the standpoint of psychology and physical structure, woman is by far the more interesting and complicated of the sexes. Man, on the other hand, is a relatively simple sexual machine, running on a single track and headed in only one direction. All men could easily have been stamped out and assembled on the same production line so far as their sexual emotions propel them, so far as their capabilities exist for satisfying themselves, and so far as their capacities for giving satisfaction extend.
10. Positions - In the discussion of physical relationships, it may be well to include some comment on the desirability, the advantage, and the practicability of various positions assum-able in sexual intercourse. It is realized there has been considerable hearsay with respect to this matter; that the average man has encountered much, suggesting the existence of numerous and interesting possibilities in position additional to those with which everyone is familiar.
11. Systematized - The foregoing chapters contain a wide variety of information concerned with the sexual association of man and woman. From these sections it has been thought expedient to extract the facts pertinent exclusively to conducting the sexual relationship, emphasize them, set them down in the form of a procedure, and add some comments which have been reserved for such a summary.
12. Oral Connection - The practice of oral connection, in which the male JL and female genitals are stimulated directly by mouth, lip, or tongue rhythms, receives little attention and considerable neglect in printed discussions of human sexual habits. Although this procedure is so widespread as to be elemental in sexual behavior, many inhibit the impulse for one reason or another. Let us consider conceivable objections and give them frank appraisal.
13. Male Orgasm - While the stress in these chapters has been laid largely upon women's sexual problems, because they are definitely the greater, this section will be devoted to the male's only actual problem, that of self-control. It should at the same time make interesting reading for a woman; serve to make her understand why she is frequently unsatisfied in sex relationships, and perhaps enable her to take a more tolerant attitude where she is absolutely certain her husband is doing his best. What this represents has been described in another chapter, and a woman should never be satisfied with less.
14. Safe Days Theory - The operation of the menstrual cycle is a phenomenon JL with which scarcely one woman in ten is thoroughly familiar, although it is a regular function of their daily lives. An understanding of it may aid those couples who, due to faulty timing, fail to bring about impregnation, or contrariwise, find it desirable to reduce it.
15. Sexual Incompatibility - Frequent letters are received commenting upon the subject matter of the author's previous books. For the most part they come from educated readers of comfortable circumstances who thank us for giving the public an informative text on a subject about which, heretofore, little of practical value has been written for the layman. Since these communications are usually the same in tone, it may prove advantageous to quote one of these in paraphrased form, a precaution taken to protect the identity of the sender. Readers will then see that others are confronted with their identical problems.
16. Sexual Readjustment - Now that the underlying reasons for sexual incompatibility have been detailed, those about to marry or who are in the stage immediately following marriage, can build a more substantial sexual future.
But this leaves the question as to how a man can relieve the sexual frustrations surrounding his home life after years of marriage; how he may instill some physical warmth in a wife whom he believes is cold.
17. Against Circumcision - Since this book is intended to serve as a layman's manual on the practical aspects of the sex act, the author feels nothing should be omitted that has a direct bearing upon the subject. Futhermore, whether it be utilized or not, it is impossible to provide a public, starving for adequate instructions, with too much information calculated to promote sexual compatibility in the home.
18. Sexual Miscellany - Chapter 15 contained a discussion of the eventual decline of the average woman's desire for sexual intercourse. The subject matter of this chapter deals rather with early aversions brought about by some specific known or unknown happening. Reference has been made to the possibility of a woman's developing sexual restraint because of the proximity in girlhood of her bedroom to that of her parentsâ€”not a typical situation, however. Nonetheless, too many women are disinclined to engage in intercourse as frequently as their husbands wish, however reasonable the men may be in their demands.